Friday, October 22, 2010

Finding the Center.

I was watching Father Barron's Untold Blessings;Three Path's to Holiness and the first path he mentioned was "finding the center."

He talked about the medieval wheel of fortune and how when you're attached to this world you are riding the rim of this wheel and you will only find yourself wanting to reach the top only to find out you'll eventually end up on the bottom again. In the center is Christ. He stays the same no matter how the wheel is turning.

Another way Father Barron also talked about finding the center is when in the gospels, Jesus is asleep in the boat while a storm is raging; (Eg: Mark 4:38-40)

A violent squall came up and waves were breaking over the boat, so that it was already filling up. Jesus was in the stern, asleep on a cushion. They woke him and said to him, "Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?" 
He woke up, rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, "Quiet! Be still!" 9 The wind ceased and there was great calm. Then he asked them, "Why are you terrified? Do you not yet have faith?"

Only Jesus can calm the storms in our life. He accompanies us on the treacherous journey and if He's the center, the storm can rage all around us but we can be detached so long as we're not attached to ways of the world.

He also mentioned St. Theresa of Avila and her book Interior Castle which covers the same path. I have been reading this book and I have been trying to find that center. On a few occasions I have found it.  Once, upon finding it, I didn't want to lose it. After a period of being a lukewarm Catholic I woke up and started praying the Rosary everyday. I try not to miss praying it. I went to confession and got everything out and got a clean slate. We went to Mass and I was enjoying a little period of peace in my soul. We sat in the cry room because my little toddler is kind of loud and the older two girls get kind of antsy. Another mom had her toddler in the room because she was really acting up and having tantrums. Sometimes, I was a little annoyed by it but I know how bad my kids can get so I put that aside. We received communion and I got on my knees to pray letting the Lord work His way through me. I don't even remember if I was praying for anything in particular. I was so lost in the center that the little girl having a tantrum didn't even penetrate it. Other parents got out of the room because she was really having a fit. However, it didn't phase me in the slightest.  I was so at peace and so full of joy. I found that center. I didn't want to leave. It's the same sometimes in Adoration. I don't want to leave. I want to languish in His presence. I forget about everything else around me.

Once you find that center, you want to go back to it. I desperately want to find it again and again. Being a mom with three beautiful, rambunctious and loud children makes me want to find it while in the storm of motherhood. I would have eternal patience if I was there. I could be a better mother and wife. But the world creeps in and the distractions takeover. The venial sins start to pile up when it's been only a week since my last confession.

I hope each time I reach that center I can stay there longer and carry it with me wherever I go. God willing, if I can be obedient and cooperate, I will.

1 comment:

cutelittlething said...

glimpses of these moments are our window into heaven!!!