Between the second mansion and third mansion.

I had a dream last week where my house was swarming with Komodo dragons. One actually bit me but strangely enough, I wasn't particularly panicked by it. I did wake up with a headache but that's probably because of the glasses of wine from the night before. I contemplated this strange dream and thought about St.Teresa of Avila's book Interior Castle. It's not an easy book to understand and I put it aside a while ago after getting to the 4th mansion in the book. So it's been on the back burner for a while. I have to admit that I just didn't think I could get past the 2nd mansion in my spiritual walk.  Here St. Teresa writes:

In this part of the castle are found souls which. have begun to practise prayer; they realize the importance of their not remaining in the first mansions, yet often lack determination to quit their present condition by avoiding occasions of sin, which is a very perilous state to be in.

However, it is a great grace that they should sometimes make good their escape from the vipers and poisonous creatures around them and should understand the need of avoiding them. In some way these souls suffer a great deal more than those in the first mansions, although not in such danger, as they begin to understand their peril and there are great hopes of their entering farther into the castle. I say that they suffer a great deal more, for those in an earlier stage are like deaf-mutes and are not so distressed at being unable to speak, while the others, who can hear but cannot talk, find it much harder. At the same time, it is better not to be deaf, and a decided advantage to hear what is said to us.

These souls hear our Lord calling them, for as they approach nearer to where His Majesty dwells He proves a loving Neighbour, though they may still be engaged in the amusements and business, the pleasures and vanities of this world. While in this state we continually fall into sin and rise again, for the creatures amongst whom we dwell are so venomous, so vicious, and so dangerous, that it is almost impossible to avoid being tripped up by them. Yet such are the pity and compassion of this Lord of ours, so desirous is He that we should seek Him and enjoy His company, that in one way or another He never ceases calling us to Him. So sweet is His voice, that the poor soul is disconsolate at being unable to follow His bidding at once, and therefore, as I said, suffers more than if it could not hear Him.

I do pray often and I do hear the Lord calling me but I was finding myself still stuck to the vanities of this world and usually have lacked the determination to move forward. I assumed to myself that I'd be here for a very long time and even though I told myself that I must move forward, I just knew I wouldn't and I didn't even know why. I guess I'm just lazy. That's the honest reality of it. I had convinced myself that I didn't have what it takes to move above and beyond my weak nature. I envisioned that when I'm an old lady going to daily Mass, then I'll have somehow moved on and maybe even make it to the fourth mansion. Mind you, there are seven mansions. Yes, I dream big! So, I had become complacent and had settled in the second mansion.

But in a recent session with the Lord in Adoration, He had more stern words for me. He said He was going to hold back showing His love to me. He loved me but He wasn't going to continue to give me consolations and that I was going to have to put others before myself and then I would start to feel His loving embrace again. I needed to start giving more. I have to surrender and humble myself as a servant. I left my session feeling a little rejected and disappointed. I knew what He was saying was spot on. Of course it is. But I just wanted to be wrapped in warm fuzzies and He was instead, a stern parent telling me I needed to grow up. I went to confession that week and then I had the dream with the Komodo dragons. I made the connection of the Interior Castle and as I thought about the dream, I revisited the book. I read about the third mansion again:

 To return to what I began to explain about the souls which have entered the third mansions. God has shown them no small favour, but a very great one, in enabling them to pass through the first difficulties. Thanks to His mercy I believe there are many such people in the world: they are very desirous not to offend His Majesty even by venial sins, they love penance and spend hours in meditation, they employ their time well, exercise themselves in works of charity to their neighbours, are well-ordered in their conversation and dress, and those who own a household govern it well. This is certainly to be desired, and there appears no reason to forbid their entrance to the last mansions; nor will our Lord deny it them if they desire it, for this is the right disposition for receiving all His favours. 

I thought more about my dream and got the sense that Jesus was telling me it was time to move on from the second mansion.  I realized Jesus has been slowly leading me out of the second mansion. Moving is difficult as anyone who has done it knows. Even when you move on to a bigger house or better place, it's still stressful. I didn't even realize I was moving. But part of the moving process involves praying and receiving the sacraments and I have been pretty diligent about doing that. All these things add up. But mentally, I am weary and lazy. Jesus doesn't expect me to do it by myself but I still have a cluttered mind. So I have taken baby steps all this time without even knowing it and have found myself on the precipice between the second and third mansion. Jesus was telling me it's time to move to the next mansion. I may actually be in the third mansion now. Maybe at the entrance. But I still have a lot of unpacking to do. I started by signing myself up as a volunteer for 40days for life as a way to get involved and come out of my shell. Hopefully this helps me settle in for the time being.

Another recurring dream that I often have is of the house with the hidden or unused room. I would always get excited at discovering the unused space. How could it have gone unnoticed and unused for so long. What cool things I could do with this extra room. The hidden rooms in our dreams are the unlocked potential in us. We all have these hidden rooms. It's no accident that St. Teresa uses a castle as the symbolic nature of the spiritual life and the human mind. Houses and dwellings are often used to symbolize the mind. In the Interior Castle we come to learn that Christ dwells in us but that we have many things getting in our way and keeping us from discovering Him from within and experience that consistent peace. The place deep in the ocean that is still in spite of the storms above. Thankfully, we have the blessed Mother always ready to take our hand and lead us through. I pray the rosary daily and rely heavily on her guidance. She's the navigator in the storm with the serpents head always being crushed beneath her feet. The Komodo dragons are bit tougher though. They're pretty big. Mama Mary can only do so much to keep reptiles from getting me. So Jesus tells it like it is and says I have to vacate this second mansion and make things a little easier for His mother to help me.

Message received my Lord.

Needing that sort of thing.

I had a conversation with my older sister the other day. We're pretty close and when we talk on the phone, it can go on for a while. A bit too much on the gossipy side, I admit, but we do get into discussions about the world and the way people are.

We sometimes complain about how dogmatic and hypocritical people can be of any religion. I agree that religion shouldn't be shoved down some one's throat. I also agree that atheism shouldn't be shoved down any one's throat.

My sister is an atheist but for the most part, we respect each other's differing beliefs. However, during our conversation, she said something that made me pause. She said it's fine if us believers need that sort of thing. On the other hand, she didn't need that "sort of thing." as if to say us believers are clinging to something like it's some sort of drug or security blanket.

Here's the thing. My sister is a considerate person. She will rescue stray animals and she hates to see injustices in the world as much as I do. When I was going through postpartum depression, she called every single day until I was feeling better and my outlook on life wasn't so bleak. She defends the underdog and gets angry at those who have plenty and continue to hoard more for themselves. She's rails against the bullies of the world and stands up for the weak. She always tries to be respectful of others. Whether she knows it or not, this is Christianity's influence on her and on society as a whole. We take this for granted. When Christianity spread throughout the world, things started to change for the human race. It became less and less o.k. to brutally kill people for whatever reason. It became less and less every man for himself. Certain human ethics that we take for granted weren't always the norm. This isn't to say that everything turned into paradise or that Christians never participated in brutal acts and immoral behavior. But if you look at where Christianity spread and how society evolved afterward you'll notice a difference in basic fundamental human rights.

One example out of many is Mexico. The Aztec Indian culture would sacrifice children and other innocents in horrific ways. Yearly estimates of 20,000 to 40,000 people were killed in these rituals. The most recent estimate by a leading authority on Mexican demographics put that number up to 250,000 a year.
After the Conquistadors came, their were already Catholic missions set up for over a generation but only a handful of Indians converted to the Christian faith. Then in 1531, Our Lady appeared to a poor Indian, Juan Diego. She requested that a temple be built in her honor. The bishop demanded a sign when Diego told him of Our Lady's request. She provided several such as healing Juan's gravely ill uncle, Castilla roses in December and the famous image of Our Lady on Juan's tilma. Suddenly, Christianity exploded and within five years almost 6 million Indians converted to Catholicism. Sacrificing babies and other humans ceased. As a result, Our Lady of Guadalupe is the Patroness for the unborn.

This is one of the more extreme examples of how drastically a culture was changed because of Christianity. However, much of our basic moral principles are a result of the Christian faith. My mom often refers to us with our Italian heritage as "culturally Catholic."  These basic principles of the Catholic faith that much of our ancestry was immersed in was passed down from generation to generation and so now we take it for granted. We think those that are believers are just doing it to get greater meaning in life but otherwise, it isn't a necessary part of life.

The fact is, it is a necessary part of life and civilization does needs that sort of thing.

Rosary Meditations: Wednesday's Glorious Mystery- The Resurrection

Matthew Chapter 28

1 After the sabbath, as the first day of the week was dawning, 2 Mary Magdalene and the other Mary came to see the tomb.3
And behold, there was a great earthquake; for an angel of the Lord descended from heaven,    approached, rolled back the stone, and sat upon it.
His appearance was like lightning and his clothing was white as snow. The guards were shaken with fear of him and became like dead men.
Then the angel said to the women in reply, "Do not be afraid! I know that you are seeking Jesus the crucified.
He is not here, for he has been raised just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples, 'He has been raised from the dead, and he is going before you to Galilee; there you will see him.' Behold, I have told you."

Then they went away quickly from the tomb, fearful yet overjoyed, and ran to announce this to his disciples; And behold, Jesus met them on their way and greeted them. They approached, embraced his feet, and did him homage. Then Jesus said to them, "Do not be afraid. Go tell my brothers to go to Galilee, and there they will see me."
While they were going, some of the guard went into the city and told the chief priests all that had happened.
They assembled with the elders and took counsel; then they gave a large sum of money to the soldiers,telling them, "You are to say, 'His disciples came by night and stole him while we were asleep.'And if this gets to the ears of the governor, we will satisfy (him) and keep you out of trouble.
"The soldiers took the money and did as they were instructed. And this story has circulated among the Jews to the present (day).
The eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had ordered them.
When they saw him, they worshiped, but they doubted.
Then Jesus approached and said to them, "All power in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go,therefore,and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age.

Personal Reflection

It's always a relief to do the Glorious Mysteries of the Rosary after doing the Sorrowful Mysteries. It's reliving Easter Sunday again and again. Jesus triumph's over death. He won. We won. Father Barron from Word On Fire sums it up best. Watch the video below. He explains it best.

Connecting the dots in Scripture.

If you love the Bible then I highly recommend you watch this video to see where the Blessed Virgin Mary fits into salvation history. Often times because of ones own private interpretation, these connections are missed between the Old and New Testament.

I found this video on You Tube and it is the best explanation on Mary's importance to Christians and what she represents and why we must honor her. Some try to say that Catholics put Mary before God but this isn't the case at all. We give her the honor and respect she deserves just like the Jews did with the Ark of the Covenant.